What am I supposed to be feeling in this newfound relationship? It is just all very new and confusing to me. I still feel like we're close friends. Maybe that's the problem with me. The only time I have ever gotten involved, we didn't do anything about it. It was just a close friendship. A friendship with possible benefits. The availability of a quick fool around if needed, though never practiced. Relationships like that are what I'm used to. Used, but using him right back.

I guess I just fear using this person. I fear being unfaithful in the end. I fear not being right, being coldhearted and hurtful. Putting up my high brick walls around me, with no door or window to crawl through.