Broken down from the bikes and bars
Suspended like spirits over speeding cars.

I wish I was the one who wrote that. I have very little depth when it comes to my writing. If you can call this writing. Horrible horrible imagery. It's as if I'm grabbing a handful of sand, yet it slips through my fingers no matter how hard I clench my fist.

Working is the only normalicy I have at home. The attempt to spend some time with high school friends went downhill, considering being out of the loop for a long time leaves me with nothing to join in with. Alyssa and I discussed this in the car, as we were driving to her house to pick up a movie and some drinks. There is such a difference we hold at our schools, and we prefer that life over this one back home. Home life has no more appeal, and we would rather go back to how we like it. Go back to what we choose instead of what we were given due to birth.

Alyssa has always been such a good, constant friend in my life. During the middle school days, full of the sixth grade drama, we decided to keep it cool and stay out of the ridiculous nonsense the other girls decided to bury their heads in. Watching "A Walk To Remember" at an 8th grade sleepover, and not having the emotional connection the other girls were. "It's just a poorly scripted movie," we thought. Attempting to stay together during the high school years, despite the now ever present differences in our hobbies and interests. Leaving the high school and hanging out with another, out of town crowd while she stuck around to her studies. In the end, we always fell back into place. Maybe it has to do with our close comfort to each other, knowing things that the rest of the girls were left out on. Having experiences that forced us to leave behind childhood and grow up too quickly.

I remember the night my family found out that my grandmother had finally passed, suffering Alzheimer's for five years. Alyssa invited me to spend the night to get out of the house and to clear my head. Out of all my friends, she was the only one there to comfort me. To give me a place to stay and let all of my feelings out. No one else took notice, being too busy with remembering whom they were having their 9th grade tiffs with. Only her.

What she did for me that night still affects how I feel about the others to this day.